Letting go of expectations...

I've started to notice more, that when I let go of my expectations in regards to my practice, how much easier it seems to both practice, and also to be satisfied with my results.  I'm a perfectionist.  I'm one of those people who, if they can't do it perfectly, they won't do it.  It's a huge flaw that I'm working on. Perfectionism is undeniably unhealthy for both your mind and your body.  *I'll explore this in another post, at a later date.

For now, let's talk about my previous night's sleep. Terrible. I woke up exhausted, in pain, and thought "No way am I going to be able to practice today! I'll suck, I'll feel worse because I couldn't muster up the strength to get through everything.  I'll fail! So there's no point in even trying"  Yup, these are just a smidgen of the thoughts that were running through my mind - not just when I first woke up, but as I went about my day.  They'd keep creeping in, and I'd alternate between feeling guilty for not even wanting to attempt my practice, and rapidly trying to come up with creative excuses as to why I didn't need to practice.  Trying to assuage my guilt, you know.  The funny thing is, that I needn't feel guilt to begin with.  But I do.  A lot.

Inspirational Quote of the Day...

Just saw this quote on another friend's blog and fell in love with it!  I need to take these words and apply them to my own life - I need to give myself permission to shine, to let the fear fall away. Thank you to Alice Istanbul (http://istanbuldesigns.blogspot.com) for the quote and for the continued inspiration. Namaste.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson

New Beginnings

The one thing about yoga, is that you can always return to the mat, at any given time, and know that you have arrived "home".  It doesn't seem to matter how long you've been away, you are always welcomed back.  I started practicing when I was in high school, and over the years I found my practice wax and wane as other interests and pursuits took up my time and drew me away from the mat.  But I kept coming back.  Again, and again, each time asking myself  "Why haven't I been doing this all along? I love this!"
Good question.  If something feels good, and I love it, then why did I keep abandoning it? I guess the amount of stuff I would attempt to cram into those 24 hours each day was pretty demanding and something had to give.  I made my choices, and priorities, and continued on my merry (or not so merry) way.
Most times I would end up back on the mat because of an injury.  Curious, no?  I'm a very athletic person, and very Type-A, so when I do things, I tend to throw myself head first into each and every activity with all of the passion I've got.  This can be great in some instances, but in others, it can lead to not listening to one's body, and result in injuries.  And this is what I do.  Each time I injured myself, or my body got sick, I would return to my yoga practice.  It became a cycle of destruction, and each time it became worse and worse.  Doesn't sound helpful, or a way to really honor myself, does it?  Eventually, I got a bit smarter, and started to focus more on my practice, but once again, things happened.  I decided that I could use that time for other things that needed doing, things that I thought  would be of a better benefit to me.   Even when that voice in my mind kept prodding me to unroll my mat, I ignored it.  Bad plan.  Really, really bad plan.  I should have listened to that voice, but perhaps that is the thing about humans as we plan, evolve and grow.  We often make decisions with our heads, without truly listening to our hearts.  We make mistakes, we learn (or try to!) from them and move forward.
At the end of the day, do I feel guilty about being so wishy-washy with my practice? Yes.  But I'm realizing now that it doesn't matter what gets you back to the mat, just the fact that you're there is what truly counts.

Test Post!

Welcome to my blog! This is my first post - a test post to see how things look around here, as I modify the template to suit my tastes.  Looking forward to seeing you again, soon!