I've started to notice more, that when I let go of my expectations in regards to my practice, how much easier it seems to both practice, and also to be satisfied with my results. I'm a perfectionist. I'm one of those people who, if they can't do it perfectly, they won't do it. It's a huge flaw that I'm working on. Perfectionism is undeniably unhealthy for both your mind and your body. *I'll explore this in another post, at a later date.
For now, let's talk about my previous night's sleep. Terrible. I woke up exhausted, in pain, and thought "No way am I going to be able to practice today! I'll suck, I'll feel worse because I couldn't muster up the strength to get through everything. I'll fail! So there's no point in even trying" Yup, these are just a smidgen of the thoughts that were running through my mind - not just when I first woke up, but as I went about my day. They'd keep creeping in, and I'd alternate between feeling guilty for not even wanting to attempt my practice, and rapidly trying to come up with creative excuses as to why I didn't need to practice. Trying to assuage my guilt, you know. The funny thing is, that I needn't feel guilt to begin with. But I do. A lot.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Just saw this quote on another friend's blog and fell in love with it! I need to take these words and apply them to my own life - I need to give myself permission to shine, to let the fear fall away. Thank you to Alice Istanbul (http://istanbuldesigns.blogspot.com) for the quote and for the continued inspiration. Namaste.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson